Dangers of Jumping From Relationship To Relationship

Break-ups happen, relationships and friendships can end abruptly and for different reasons. It’s what we do after that break-up, that can either spoil or edify our love lives. After a break-up, you will inevitably face a cross-road that influences you to either remain single and heal or get into a new relationship with a new person or back to the ex. Dear reader, are you at that cross road today?

Have you ever cut yourself by mistake or fallen down? Remember how painful washing the wound is or putting any kind of salt, ointment, balm or even a bandage seems to increase the pain? Yet, this processing of dressing the wound is done to aid healing to take place. You see, the majority of times, relationship hopping can happen when one is afraid of being alone. It becomes an antidote for dealing with reality. The reality being – facing and enduring the painful process of healing from a heartbreak. Are you hopping from relationship to relationship today? In 1 year you have dated or been in a relationship with 2, 3, 4, 5+ different people? Maybe you are just in relationships for the sake of having someone? Let me outline to you 4 toxic dangers that can poison you, when you jump from one relationship to another:

You limit the ability to completely heal

Being in a relationship with someone cannot save you, only Jesus Christ saves, hence, a relationship with another individual is simply the evidence of 2 people coming together in agreement, to date or to court. You may think getting into another relationship will make you feel better but in reality what you are really doing is giving away a broken heart to another candidate. It’s a bleeding heart, unfit for the services that come with being in a relationship. Since your heart is not yet healed, any mistake, error or flaw this person makes or has, as they handle your heart will cause premature infliction. What this means is that, your heart will be extra sensitive and easily offended, which in turn may give you an ugly attitude and appearance. Evidence of this ugliness is through continuous emotions of jealousy, short temper, insecurities, grudges, bitterness and a need to control the other person. The bible says:
Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
– 1 Corinthians 13:7 (AMP)
A broken heart is not capable of loving at such a capacity. It takes a whole heart to love in such a way and more importantly a whole heart that is submitted to Christ’s love. 

You disarm the privilege of total healing when you hop into another relationship quickly. 

Healing on the job can be very dangerous! People who enter relationships too soon and decide to heal from previous hurts whilst in a new relationship, are indirectly derailing their virtues and blessings, in the sense that they can’t fully enjoy what they have when they are still dealing with past hurts.
Whether a relationship was sexual or non sexual, when 2 people break-up, it causes a tearing of hearts because of an emotional soul tie that would have developed. Emotional soul-ties are inevitable in relationships and each time you confess your love towards each other, that emotional bond becomes tighter and tighter. For more in depth information on different types of soul-ties, please read my book “BREAKING SOUL TIES: The Deliverance Manual”. Dear reader, it’s very crucial that your heart is mended before another emotional soul tie is formed with another, otherwise this will birth a dysfunctional relationship with the new candidate. This is because when you are healed completely, you will no longer fear being single and won’t need a relationship-validation, to feel whole. Are you whole enough to be at peace with yourself? To have a clear vision of the kind of man or woman/relationship you want and more importantly deserve?
I have met people who could not spend a whole day and night alone, they needed people to validate them because sadly, they could not stand their own presence. Total healing is shown when you are completely comfortable with yourself, love yourself and want to be the best for you. Relationship hopping steals the time needed to develop into being the best you. A wiser you!

Creates unrealistic expectations

When broken people enter a relationship, their expectations can often be driven by fear, hence, making them unrealistic. Such people are often searching for a saviour through the candidate they are dating, to save them from the past relationship. It’s important to know that humans are fallible. They cannot be perfect because only God is perfect. Hence, it’s always wise to look at your beloved through the eyes of Christ seeing as they are flesh and are capable of causing you offence. This does not mean they should abuse, cheat and violate the boundaries of a healthy relationship, it simply means that he/she may do or say things you may not really like. Please note, when there is abuse, unfaithfulness and manipulations, these are signs of serious disfunction in your relationship; please do not settle!

Unfortunately, when you are broken, you can become an easy target for the devil to inflict you with arrows of doubt so that when your so called beloved doesn’t do things in a certain way, you are ready to find someone else who does. Unfortunately, you will eventually find out that the next man/woman also does things in a certain that you don’t like.
This is because you didn’t heal completely, any poking can cause severe pain and the other person may not understand how painful things are to you even if they are very small to them. If only you had healed enough, if only you had waited long enough, small offences would not hurt you this much! Small issues would not steal away your peace this much! You see, when God made the woman for the man, he made her in such a way that they compliment each other! This means they were opposites of each other but their differences were not meant to be swords but rather to be sharpeners. 

Sometimes, you cannot have or experience the best man or woman, until you become the best woman or man.

Dephne madyara

It births a spirit of divorce

When you are constantly breaking up with people, this can limit your ability to be sensitive to the sacredness of love. Love is very sacred and needs to be understood with maturity. The problem nowadays is that people are entering relationships for the sake of it. Sometimes to please people, please themselves, follow trends, to mask an image or look popular. A relationship that doesn’t lead to marriage is a waste of time. When you enter into a love story to waste your own time or each others time, you are not only toxifying your heart but you are creating a pattern of divorce. This can be an emotional pattern, for example, you will find that in marriage you will run or shut down when there is conflict. You were used to running to and from different relationships, so within marriage you end up running but this time emotionally or mentally! We hear stories of husbands and wives not speaking for days or weeks; these are all subtle patterns of divorce. Look at the root core, what is it that is causing you to keep running? Fear? Anger? Pride? If this is not addressed and healed from, it can cause serious issues in the future.

Therefore, dear reader, I urge you to sit down and ponder on all this. Ask yourself, when will I stop running? Will you stop running from the process of healing today? Will you be still and allow God to heal you and make you whole again? Sometimes, you cannot have or experience the best man or woman until you become the best woman or man. To have and experience the best, you also have to be your best! Allow healing to take its full course in your life today. Stop hopping from man to man and if you’re a man reading this, stop hoping from woman to woman. 
God bless you and I’m praying for you!

In His Service
Dephne Madyara

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